Dolapo Adebiyi is a Registered Manager of a health and social care company called Emerald Care Services in London. SEGUN KASALI listened to her life story.
How was the Lagos of your younger years?
It was a beautiful time. I grew up in Lagos when the country was good. I grew up to know General Yakubu Gowon as the Head of State and school was free. Whenever he wants to go out, we would come out and line up on the streets of Lagos. We would wave our flags and go home with one Nigeria [flag]. Children were happy to see him because there was no hardship. We had sanitary inspectors who would go round to make sure Lagos was clean. Light was regular. We did not have much of the luxury that are here in Lagos now. It was so beautiful. You could walk the streets of Lagos without fear. There was not that much transportation in Lagos. I used to live in Bamgbose by Tinubu Street and everyone was safe.
What were the pranks you played as a young girl?
There are lots of them. I attended St. Morris in Broad Street, Lagos and then we had a burial ground very close to us. After school was over, we would go there to play games. Those who would indulge in street-fighting would do a lot of that. Sometimes when you are fighting, someone who knows you would come and carry your bag and your parents must not know. Mind you, our uniform was a trademark to the extent that you can easily be reported to the school whenever you do anything wrong. It was a Catholic school; you must not be found fighting. Then, we had the breadfruit trees where we plucked a lot of them. We would go down to race-course and to the beach. You won’t believe that we went there on foot without public transport; we walked all the length and breadth of Lagos to know one another. Everyone knows the home you are from. We were always looking forward to Eyo Festival.
Tell us about it…
Whoever wears shoe would get beaten. The unique thing about it is that no matter the home you are from whether Christian or Muslim or unbelievers, everybody did everything. There were no barriers. There was nothing telling you that because you are from a Christian home you should not be part of Eyo. We just saw it as fun. This was how we grew up in Lagos. There was love and no barriers. And then we had the Civil War.
What was your experience?
It was a time ingrained in everyone’s memory. I was on Broad Street when they came to attack National Electric Power Authority (NEPA). We usually go under the desk as children when we hear the sound of bomb. We also had curfews at some point that we could not go out. The young boys that you call good boys on the streets were just taken into the army. Then, you see parents crying because they don’t know if they would see their children again. That time was a sober time. After the war ended, everything went on.
What other memories do you have?
Yes, I remember. Every year on Palm Sunday, every Christian would go to church and in the middle of it we would go round on procession. Everyone would join the procession regardless of their background. This is in the middle of the night and then we would end it at Oba’s palace. Late Oba Oyekan would make tea and food for everybody. It was really fun-filled. Religious belief did not matter growing up in Lagos back then. But, there was safety then; parents were not worried. You would go out to play because you know the time to come home. We lived in harmony.
How about discipline?
There was discipline. Because we did not have the luxury of playing with toys, that was why we would be out there playing. You come back from school and do your home work. We had the freedom of playing with one another. And there was no thought of being promiscuous. I was raised by a single mother. She raised us with love. She was very philosophical. She would talk more. I remember a lot of her words like ‘remember the child of whom you are’. Her words usually reset our brain. And then any parent can discipline you.
You think you have her traits?
Like I said, my mum was philosophical. I see many of things she said then happening now; she had the gift of counselling. She would listen to both sides without judging. My mum would tell you “everyone is human, before you become friends with anyone be careful. So, think of the positives not just the negatives every time.” That is what I do now. Even in the management of people, I tell them that there is always something good in everybody. So, she was a warm person. She would go out of her way which I do. Even though she is suffering, she does not show it. It was when we grew up we understood life more. Then, we thought we just had everything without knowing she was taking the pain.
What was your ambition then?
I wanted to study Law but sometimes we plan but our plans don’t materialise. After our secondary school, I didn’t go straight to higher institution but went to the bank to work. Later, I stopped and went back to school. So, I didn’t go for Law because the opportunity was not there and so I did Secretarial Administration. I got married and raised children. In the middle of it, I wanted to go back to the university. It was not possible because the children were growing. We came to the UK and I did my First Degree in Business Administration and my Master’s in Human Resources. I was working and studying at the same time. When the opportunity came, I went back to the university and did Law. I did it as a self-actualisation goal because I did it for the passion I had and not because I wanted to get employment with it.
Why the passion for law?
I love fairness and equity. I don’t like people taking advantage of one another. Before I studied Law, I love writing.
Now, you are into social care…
The company was founded over 10 years ago and we have been running it since then. We are in the health and social care sector. We provide care and support to the elderly, children, adults who have special needs and different types of needs. It is a domiciliary service we provide; that is where you go from door-to-door to care for people in their homes.
What does the job require?
To do this job, you have to value people. You have to be empathetic and compassionate. Without empathy and compassion, you cannot do this job. There are lots of jobs that are not that rewarding; monetary wise. So, if you don’t have the passion, you cannot care for people. You find yourself in a situation where you need to be careful to draw the professional boundary. Sometimes you look after people for years, they become part of you. There are times you lose people and your emotion comes to play. You need to learn to manage people.
You once said Nigerians don’t understand dementia…
Yes, we do not understand dementia in Nigeria, and it breaks my heart. When I was growing up, a lot happened, and when I look back now, I begin to understand why. The work I do has exposed me to a lot, especially regarding dementia; it has become our specialty. We care for the elderly in the United Kingdom. When we discuss dementia, we talk about both health and social care in the UK. The health aspect is handled by the hospital, while we handle social care. When elderly people start to speak incoherently, we label them as witches and wizards. It is heartbreaking. With my experience in this field, I feel compelled to return to Nigeria to give back to society by educating people and communities about dementia. As I often say, if you don’t die young, you will grow old. When you view your aging parents and elderly people as witches or wizards, you discourage them from coming out, stripping them of their dignity and human rights. From all that I have learned here, I want to give back to Nigeria, particularly in the areas of dementia awareness and the management of elderly individuals.
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